Wild Thing

September 24, 2014 by camoozle

I’ve been going through some things lately. Mostly difficult things. Mentally, I’m drained. I’m sure you parents and educators out there are feeling the Common Core crunch right about now. I sure am! I’m in a new grade level at a new school in a new district with new standards. I’ve been teaching for 10 years and every day I’m hit with the realization that I might not know what I’m doing. I am not amused.

Have you hugged a teacher today?

I’ve been completely sucking at my food plan. As such, my energy levels have been nilch. I’ve had some issues in my personal relationship so as you might imagine, I’ve been feeling just plain shitty. I feel like I spend so much energy trying to control so many things in my life; work, love, my children, food, exercise, weight…that there’s nothing left in the gas tank for actually enjoying my life.

I read this book “Go Wild” by John J. Ratey, MD. It’s all about getting back to basics, and I mean the evolutionary basics, when it comes to food, exercise, sleep, and socializing. It promotes a natural, hunter/gatherer diet, very paleo in nature, but the huge parts I remember are the bits about grains and sugars. And how they’re the devil.

I’m a sugar fiend. I love cake. I run just so I can have Laffy Taffy. I’m completely and totally addicted and in love with sugar. To hear that sugar is basically toxic to my body was heartbreaking. I wanted to deny it! But there’s just so much damn proof.

The book offers so many reasons why humans suffer now from all these afflictions which were virtually non-existent generations and generations ago. Some of these afflictions are completely absent even today in aboriginal and native cultures. The book argues that modern civilization is causing the demise of our species. And I’m on board, ladies and gents. Yes, I realize I just condemned modern civilization in a blog, for crying in the mud. But there’s something wrong with our world, with our species. Everytime I turn on NPR, I’m reminded of it. Heart disease, cancer, childhood obesity, mental illness…I’m ready to simplify. And I’m especially ready to change the habits I’ve forced on my children. Processed foods, say hello to my little friend…Relax, it’s just a trash can.

I’m also attending the Wild Feminine retreat in North Carolina. Click here to check it out on facebook. Yep, I’ve signed myself up for some naked forest dancing (or so I hope), looking to find that goddess within that I’ve lost touch with. I’m so very excited for this opportunity to just spend some time with myself, and get back to my wild nature. I want to feel comfortable in my body and at ease with my role on this huge planet. I want to experience something far more important than my silly insecurities and issues. Are you ready for Wild Cam? Because I am.

Recipe Box: Lemon Cottage Cheese Potato Pancakes

September 19, 2014 by bec2point0

A.k.a. Breakfast Protein, Alex’s Lemonade Stand style.

When I was planning these breakfast protein posts for September, I knew I wanted to incorporate a lemon-y recipe that was also a good source of morning protein. This wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be! I typically like my lemon in cake form, and baked goods and protein don’t exactly go hand-in-hand for me. It usually involves adding protein powder, which just makes thing taste off to me.

And then, I stumbled upon a recipe I’d had written down for a while, but had never made. Lemon Cottage Cheese Potato Pancakes. See, still cake!

Truthfully, I don’t even remember where I got this recipe. It’s just one of those one jotted down on a slip of paper and stuck in a pile. Every time I would run into it, I would get all excited at the idea of making them, but I never would.

That was very silly of me.

These were really delicious, and one of those recipes that has few ingredients, is low on time and effort, and is both tasty and versatile. You could totally make these as a side dish for dinner, or serve them as a late lunch. But, since I’ve been writing about breakfast all month, these had a starring role for a couple of mornings.

Lemon Cottage Cheese Potato Pancakes

4 Medium sized Potatoes, boiled and mashed

1 TBSP minced shallots

2 eggs, beaten

1 cup low-fat or fat-free cottage cheese

1/2 cup flour

Zest of one small lemon

1/2 teaspoon herbs

Combine all ingredients and mix well. Form into 16 small patties. Heat oil on a griddle or frying pan. Cook until golden brown over medium heat, about 4 minutes per side.

That’s it. No, really, that’s it. Crazy, right?

A couple of notes. I used whipped cottage cheese, so no lumps, but I think it would be just as good with regular. You can totally make the potatoes ahead, just let them warm up a bit before you start mixing. For the herbs, I used thyme and parsley, but really, use whatever is your preference. These also freeze well, just wrap them in wax paper and pop them in a freezer bag. Then, when you’re ready to eat them, a minute or two in the microwave and you’re good to go.

The cakes were creamy in the middle with crispy edges. So good! Serve them…pretty much however you like. I mean, I wouldn’t put maple syrup on them or anything, they’re not that kind of pancakes. But in this case, hollandaise made a lovely ‘syrup’. Plus, more lemon! The potato pancakes made an egg-cellent (yolk, yolk) base for my Eggs Benedict. I took pictures but truthfully, the looked like crap, sooooooo….

So, why Lemon? Well, if you don’t already know, we’ve formed a team for the Alex’s Lemonade Stand Million Mile Run-Walk-Ride, to raise money for pediatric cancer research. We’re walking and running and riding and raising money for pediatric cancer research. If kicking cancer’s butt is your thing, you should totally join us!

Shiny (er, Sweaty), Happy, Person Running

September 17, 2014 by beewhobabbles

If you have young kids, then you know that the only thing they’re really consistent about is being inconsistent. My happy little dude, who has always been fine with our babysitter, and really, never met a stranger he didn’t like, is currently going through some terrible separation anxiety. He cries when my husband leaves for work, he wails when we drop the girls off at school. He sobs when I leave- even if he’s with his dad, or our sitter who’s been with us since before he was born. We’ve been sitting together in the crying room at church and the gym hasn’t been an option- as soon as we walk in the doors of a nursery, he shakes his head and says, “Nope.”

I know this will pass, and typically, I’m pretty patient and let the baby lead on these things, but- (of course there’s a “but”) I need to exercise. I was excited to finally start running again, and had fallen into a decent schedule of treadmill walk/running and cycling on a stationary bike when the nursery meltdowns began.

A week passed without any workouts and September 1st arrived- the beginning of our #journey2amillion. I knew I had to do something, so I dusted off the jogging stroller and my garmin, grabbed a hat and some pepper spray, and off we went. I ran and walked just over 3.5 miles that day, the most I had done since the Nike half. A day passed and I went out again. I continued the next week, running every other day. I switched up my intervals quickly and I don’t want to bore you with all the numbers, but I started out running 15 minutes at a time, and yesterday, I ran a full 30 minutes without stopping to walk.

Slightly happier to be in a stroller vs. gym nursery. He’d probably most like to run alongside me!

I am so crazy happy to be running again. My legs feel lighter. My mind feels lighter. And the best part is, I’m running for a cause this month- for Alex’s Lemonade Stand Foundation. Most of you probably already know that we’re logging miles (and wearing yellow) all month to raise awareness for childhood cancer.

#onwednesdayswewearyellow On Wednesdays, I also make a lot of jokes about dressing like Brenda Walsh.

We’re doing good, and feeling good, and I’m feeling even better because not all of my miles are coming from walking or cycling. High fives all around!

I’ve also been taking yoga classes again. Do you have a regular yoga studio? I like to switch it up based on my needs. My Saturday morning class works because it’s an early morning power hour, so I don’t feel like I’m missing most of the morning. There’s an evening class at a different studio that I love for relaxation. And finally, a new hot yoga place opened in my city! This is a BIG DEAL because all of the other hot studios are at least 40 minutes away. They have classes later in the evening, which is perfect for me because I can get the kids into bed before I “Om.”

So, hooray for recovering from injuries! I’m grateful for consistent exercise, even if I’m surrounded by chaos.

The 90s are back. Whose closet would you raid- Brenda, Kelly, or Donna (Martin graduates)? How far do you drive for yoga? Check out our page for Alex’s Million Mile! There’s still time to join our team, or donate: http://www.alexslemonade.org/mypage/1117658

Cam’s Costume Corner

September 9, 2014 by camoozle

I was a huge theater geek in high school. Big surprise, I know. When I get the chance to put on fancy clothes and be some other persona for the day, I take advantage. Even if it means I’ll be stepping into character for 13.1 miles.

The key is to create a versatile and functional illusion of what you’re trying to convey. This is the most challenging aspect for me. I always forget that the costume doesn’t have to be perfect. It doesn’t need a blind hem or actual button holes. It’s for show. You will wear that costume one time, it doesn’t need to be a work of art. It does, however, need to stay together for awhile. I’ve put together a few tips, just to get your creative juices flowing.

Doesn’t everyone bring their sewing machine and serger on their runcations?

Tip #1: Sequins are pretty, but they chafe like a mother.

Choosing the right fabric is vital. I generally want my costumes to be soft yet supportive. I also run hot so I need material that will breathe well. I generally choose cotton spandex blends. However, I will absolutely embellish with some fanciful trims. For example, our Ring Master costumes consisted of a plain white tank top with the sparkly vest sewn right onto it. The vest was a heavier material with the gold trim sewn to look like closures. A coat with tails would have been awesome, but who wants to run in that? I used the tulle to create a no-sew bustle instead. That way we could give the illusion of a fancy coat without an actual coat.

Tip #2 Accessorize, Accessorize, Accessorize

Sometimes the best costumes aren’t even about the actual clothes. Accessories can take your typical runwear and turn you into a roller derby diva. For these costumes we used black shorts and shirts silk-screened with a logo. Everything else was in the accessories: bandaids, temporary tattoos, handkerchiefs, knee pads and elbow pads, fishnets, even black Halloween make-up for creating bruises and missing teeth.

Tip #3 No Zippers Necessary

When I made these three Good Fairy costumes for the Tink half, I wasn’t going to have a chance to fit the dress to the girls. So instead of making the dresses with zippers, I used a t-shirt as the bodice and sewed the skirt onto the bottom of the shirt. That way I knew the dresses would fit. The shirts were also comfy and stretchy, perfect for running 13.1 miles in wings and a hat.

Tip #4 Fake It till you Make It.

Sometimes you have to just fake it. For this Rainbow Brite costume, I didn’t have a chance to finish the sleeves. So I just paired the dress with a shirt and gloves. This costume won me $100!

Tip #5 Work It

When it comes down to it, attitude has a lot to do with whether or not the costume works. You have to embody the persona you’re trying to represent. For instances, when I’m dressed like a ninja, I’m completely undetectable. I hide behind trees and jump and kick and I truly become the ninja. Same with our signature poses last weekend at the Disney 10k. We worked those sailor dresses!

Breakfast Protein: Chill Out

September 5, 2014 by bec2point0

So, we’ve known each other for a while now, right guys? And that means you know how I feel about carbs. And if you don’t, think about how much you love the thing that you love so hard that you want to write bad poetry about it.

To all the carbs I’ve chowed before…

That came home from the grocery store…

I’m glad you were delicious… and some of you nutritious…

To alllll the carbs I’ve loooooovvvveeedddd before.

Yeah, it’s like that. And don’t get me wrong, me and carbs aren’t even breaking up. Our love is a true and lasting thing.

BUT, we can get down at breakfast time.

I’ve been trying (and struggling…and failing) to stick to my Weight Watchers program lately, and even though I’ve lost less than three pounds since May (see aforementioned struggling and failing), I’ve definitely been paying more attention to how certain food affect me.

Carbs in the morning = ridiculous cravings for junk = shitty food spiral all day long.

At least, if it’s an all carb buffet, as it sometimes is. If I start the day with protein, combined with some good carbs, things go much better.

I have to assume this is not just a Bec thing? Do 6 AM carbs send you down a long and winding road to Oreos?

However, once upon a time, I did South Beach, and after 21 days of phase one, I was pretty sure I was going to hurl if I so much as breathed egg. Don’t get me wrong, I love me some eggs, just not every day. So, I began the hunt for a variety of breakfast-y proteins, and over the next four Fridays, I’ll be waxing (badly) poetic about them.

For all the times eggs stood by me…

For all the energy yogurt gave me…

For all the joy bacon brought to my life…

For all the wrongs that cheese made right…

This week, since I live on the face of the sun (Massachusetts), and it’s been so hot that I’ve actually taken to Walk Away the Pounds in my air conditioned bedroom, I thought I’d share some of my favorite cold protein breakfast staples.

Greek Yogurt – This is probably my favorite in the cold category (I won’t write another bad poem, I swear). There’s a ton of flavor variety out there (Chobani and Noosa both have PUMPKIN out right now), some have whole grains already mixed in (Chobani Banana Maple with Steel-Cut Oats is incredible). Today, I tried the Simply Balanced Carrot Cake and Cream Cheese Frosting Duo (if you haven’t seen these yet, get thee to Target. Unless you shop at my Target, in which case, step away).

Flavored varieties can tend to be pretty high in sugar, but the artificially sweetened ones don’t do it for me. If you’d rather start with plain and add your own sweeteners, that’s cool too.

If I’ve got extra time, I will mix up a bowl with fresh fruit and some low fat granola.

Perfait!

And if not, I can throw it into my lunch bag and eat it when I get to work.

Breakfast on the go. And on the desk.

Hard Boiled Eggs – These are another incredibly portable option, especially if you get lazy like me and get the pre-cooked ones at Trader Joe’s.

These are a few of my favorite things

Smoothies – For me, smoothies are like actual cooking. I throw in some stuff and hope it tastes good. Usually yes. Sometimes no. I’m not a huge fan of protein powder, but I do keep Weight Watchers Smoothie Mixes on hand for a fast smoothie. If I’m not using protein powder, I’ll use yogurt or silken tofu to thicken the smoothie, frozen fruit, chia seeds and milk, either regular or almond.

Peanut Butter Banana Berry Smoothie before…

…and after.

My absolute favorite it a Peach Pie Smoothie (frozen peaches, vanilla greek yogurt, a little honey, chia seeds, cinnamon and almond milk. It’s heaven.

Nut Butters – I talked a bit about my love of nut butter in my review of Buff Butter last week. My collection is starting to border on the ridiculous (please feel free to send me recommendations anyway). Almond, Peanut, Cashew. Jif Whips (omg, Maple Brown Sugar), Skippy Natural Singles, Trader Joe’s Crunchy Salted Peanut Butter with Flax and Chia seeds. It’s all good. Give me an apple, a knife and some nut butter, and I am a happy girl.

Hopefully be next week, it will have cooled down enough to actually cook something! In the meantime, please feel free to hit me up with suggestions in the comments.

Do you love AM Protein? Tell us your faves!

It’s Lemon Month! Time to Run, Walk, Ride.

September 1, 2014 by beewhobabbles

A few days ago, my friend challenged me to log some miles for ALS. I’ve already done the ice bucket thing; most of my friends and family have. Isn’t the power of social media amazing? To date, the Ice Bucket Challenge for ALS awareness has helped to raise $100 million and counting, and raised our collective consciousness about a disease that affects so many people, including a few of my friends. As with any internet thing, there are naysayers, but as someone with the inside scoop on charity workings (my husband serves as board president of a local nonprofit), raising awareness for your cause works. The proof is in the dollars- see that big figure up there? You never know who might be watching, who has funds to give, who has been personally affected or knows someone who has, and suddenly- they care. They want to make a difference. They want to give their money. And maybe it’s a one-time thing, or maybe they can afford a recurring donation, but either way- awareness matters.

Back to my friend’s running challenge- well, I had to decline. This month is Childhood Cancer Awareness month, and all of my miles belong to Alex’s Lemonade Stand Foundation. That’s right, it’s time once again to log one million miles for childhood cancer, and this year, we can run, walk, or ride our way through September. Check out this video:

We participated in the inaugural Million Mile Run last year, and were thrilled that so many of our friends joined us. If you would like to join Team Scoot A Doot this year, we would LOVE to have you! Fundraising is encouraged but not mandatory- what we really want you to do is log your miles with us and make some noise on social media. Let’s paint the month yellow for childhood cancer awareness!

BUT WAIT. There’s more! If you join our team, here are some things you can look forward to:

#onwednesdayswewearyellow Mean Girls wear pink, but Nice Girls (and guys) wear yellow. Show us your yellow every Wednesday on Instagram and Facebook, and help me prove that it really does look good on everyone. Team members will be entered into a random prize drawing at the end of the month, for every Wednesday they participate. (That’s one prize but four chances to enter! Time to start planning your outfits.)

We love our team so much that we have two other prize opportunities!

One prize for the most miles logged by the end of the month. Now, some of us our in marathon training season, and some of us are cyclists…who will win? Start moving, post your miles, and let’s find out!

The other reward is for our top fundraiser. Raising money isn’t a requirement for our team, but every dollar raised will help fund more research, and one day, hopefully, a cure.

We have a few other surprises in store for our team, and of course we’ll be posting lemony goodness all month long, in the form of recipes, outfit ideas, and more.

Let’s get this party started! Join Team Scoot A Doot for #alexsmillionmile and give us a shout on Instagram, Twitter or Facebook. Start running, walking, or riding and let’s make a difference together. The #journey2amillion starts today!

http://www.alexslemonade.org/mypage/1117658

Already joined our team? THANK YOU! Are you walking, biking, or riding? Do you love yellow as much as I do?

I’m doing what? When? How? Where?

August 26, 2014 by writeitdownjess

I realized last Sunday night that I am running a half marathon THIS Sunday morning. Directly after that, I realized that I have done nothing (other than training) to prepare for this. I have a vague idea of when my flight leaves the Bay Area and arrives in Orange County. I kiiiinda know where we’re staying (what’s the name? No idea.) I semi-know that the weather is probably going to be pretty warm. Sort of. I definitely do know that Meridith and I will be watching Outlander together, because we are both obsessed. But that is one of the few things I unequivocally know. Otherwise?

I am just Not. Prepared. At all.

Paralyzed by Idontknowitis. Very serious.

So, I started freaking out a bit. Making lists. Making plans. Making playlists. Painting my nails (very important.) I’ve gone on a couple short runs, but is this the right thing to do? I don’t know. I DON’T KNOW ANYTHING.

And it dawned on me: I don’t know what to do because I’ve never done this before. I mean, truly, this is like new frontier type stuff for me. And realizing that helped take some (not all) of the panic away.

That said, I am still completely in the dark about what my week-before-running-my-first-half-marathon-oh-god should look like. I want to know. I want to make sure I’m not missing anything. Should I be running or not? Should I be taking it easy? Eating a lot of carbs? Eating no carbs? Stretching? Upping my water intake?

I know I always ask you lovely people for advice, but…well, I’m doing it again. Because so many of you have done this! And I want to do it right. I like doing things right.

So please, tell me: is there anything special I need to do before the race on Sunday? Is there anything special you do before your races that I should adopt? And finally (maybe most importantly?), what songs should I add to my half playlist?!

The Skin You’re In

August 20, 2014 by Meridith

The summer is sadly winding down and my boys and I are getting our “lasts” into these couple of weeks before school starts. Don’t get me wrong, we are all super stoked for the start of school but we’ve got things to do! Water ice treats, visits to the library (while it’s not crowded), last visits to the pool before it closes… all super important experiences.

Recently, as I was slathering sunscreen on my little guy’s body before a “last” visit to the pool, he promptly chirped up to remind me that it was “Mommy’s turn next”. I’ll admit that with my darker complexion, I sometimes skip the sunscreen.

Total mom fail! I’m super diligent when it comes to my children. They wear sunscreen and hats. I make sure that they sit in the shaded areas as much as possible. I’d walk behind them with a parasol, if I thought I could get away with it.

Why then am I neglectful when it comes to myself? I spend so much time placing importance on my health and well-being and I’m not taking care of my skin as well as I can be. My dad has had numerous bouts of skin cancer! I know better! We know better.

This video has been making the rounds on social media but in case you haven’t seen it yet, check out How the Sun Sees You.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o9BqrSAHbTc&w=853&h=480]

Of course, knowing and doing are two separate processes. I know that I need to wear sunscreen and I need to make an effort to put it on every time I leave the house. But it’s easy to forget while you’re hustling the kids out the door, carrying towels, juice boxes, snacks, table tennis paddles.

A couple of weeks ago I ran out of facial cleanser so I’ve been washing my face with soap and water in the shower, after the gym or a workout. If I remember to put on moisturizer, I consider it a significant win.

Why can’t someone just paint flowers on my face daily? So much easier.

Jess is my expert advice giver, especially when it comes to skin and makeup because she works in the beauty industry (AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL and looks like angels kiss her skin on a daily basis); naturally I asked her for help.

Jess: “Wait, are you washing your face with SOAP SOAP?”
Me: “Well, what do you consider SOAP SOAP? It’s artisan!”
Jess: “But is it body soap?” (Sounding as horrified as one can in an email message.)
Me: “…” “Maybe?”
Jess: “For the love of Pete, Meridith. How have you survived life this long?” (Okay, she didn’t actually say that part but you could tell she was thinking it.)

I ask Jess for her opinion about practically everything in my life. And I hate disappointing her. Thankfully, she gave me some good advice in regards to daily facial routines and since sharing is caring, here’s my game plan!

1. Sunscreen, sunscreen, sunscreen.

2. Cleanser. Okay, so soap isn’t technically a cleanser and can apparently be a bit harsh on the ol’ face. Burt’s Bees has always been my go-to cleanser and Jess also mentioned Cetaphil and Aveeno because my skin is “normal”. Jess has sensitive skin so she uses Fresh Soy Face Cleanser.

3. I worry about dark marks. I have freckles and uneven skin tone so it’s a concern of mine. In regards to this, Jess recommended Clinique Even Better. I also recently got a sample of Elizabeth Arden’s Flawless Future Serum from Influenster that I’m going to try. I’m not too concerned with wrinkles… yet. But hey, can’t hurt to be proactive!

4. Moisturizer. See! I’ve got this! I ALREADY HAD ONE OF THE STEPS. *pats self on back* Personally, I use Neutrogena. Boom! Most moisturizers have SPF too so I suppose that I’m already a little bit protected from the sun, so long as I’ve moisturized.

5. Eye cream. Now this is something I would NOT have thought of, which is why Jess gets paid the big bucks! Suggestions were Kiehl’s Midnight Recovery Eye Cream or Fresh Black Tea Eye Cream. I have yet to invest in this, primarily because I’m cheap but my face is worth it! (Why is everything so expensive? Seriously, man.)

6. Six? Yeah, I was aiming for five but this one is important. After I run or workout, if I don’t have the chance to shower immediately, I use these babies:

Salt and dirt, begone! Okay, maybe not GONE, but definitely less.

So, that’s the plan! Anyone who knows me knows that I like a good plan. I know I can’t erase time or years but I can be proactive and take charge today. Tally-ho!

What’s your skin care routine? Any good product recommendations for me? (Ones that won’t break the bank are always appreciated. You know, I don’t want crap but I also don’t want to waste $10 on something that won’t work instead of springing for the $80 of awesome.)

These Shoes Were Made for Running

August 18, 2014 by beewhobabbles

You guys! Yesterday, I laced up my new sneakers (Asics Cumulus) and went for a run. ALL THE EXCITEMENT IS HERE.

New shoes, new socks and a sexy new running partner.

My last run was the Nike DC half in April, after which my foot ached something awful, and swelled to the size of, well, a foot much bigger than mine.

April was a long, long time ago. It’s been a moody four months around my house, if we’re being completely honest.

I’ve been doing some conditioning, as my doctor recommended, as well as other forms of cardio when I’ve had time (which wasn’t often), but yesterday, I decided that it was time.

The best part? I ran PAIN FREE.

Wheeeeee!

My doctor recommended that I ease back into running by doing intervals. Specifically, 10 minutes of walking, 10 running, 10 walking. I’m supposed to do that every other day for 10 days, at which point I can try 10 minutes of running, 10 walking, 10 running. And so on, until I’m running comfortably for 30 minutes. After that, I can slowly increase my mileage.

Day one. So far, so good.

SO HAPPY TO BE BACK.

Pop some nuun into your glass and celebrate with me. Cheers! What’s making you happy on this beautiful Monday?

Oh, Just Another Blog Post About Mental Illness

August 14, 2014 by camoozle

I’m sure you’ve read lots of stuff this week about mental illness but I sat down at my computer today and this was the only thing I wanted to talk about. The death of Robin Williams hit me right in the gut. He was a beautiful human being who dedicated his life to finding the funny. He was a good father and husband. He loved his job and used his position to better the lives of those in need. And now he’s gone.

I was diagnosed with depression and ADHD a little over three years ago. I have lived in my pajamas for days and days. I have barricaded myself in my house and fed my babies macaroni and cheese for every meal. I have gone days without sleep and then had to pinch myself to stay awake while I drove to work with my children in the car. I have cried hysterically because of the massive amounts of laundry piled on my floor. Because my mind was spinning, spinning, spinning. Because I felt like a failure. Because I was neglecting my kids. Because my marriage was falling apart. Because I couldn’t get my shit together. And there was nothing I could do to stop it.

The hardest part about mental illness is that there is no physical indicator that someone is sick. It’s not like a heart attack or cancer. No one disputes a broken arm. I was really good at faking happy. And I quote: “But you’re always so happy! You have nothing to be depressed about! Your life is perfect! You’re always cracking jokes and smiling!” Of course I was. I didn’t want anyone to know I’m a basket case. There’s a huge stigma in our society when it comes to mental illness. Manic. Depressed. Bipolar. Obsessive. Schizo. Weak. Impulsive. Crazy. Psycho. Emotional. Lazy. Slacker. Unreliable. Why would anyone choose to live like this? It’s not being ungrateful, or selfish, or ridiculous. It’s biological. And it’s unavoidable.

Luckily, I got help before the situation got any worse. I mixed therapy with drugs and was able to function. Sometimes, better than function! I often get to the point where I feel like I’m fixed and I don’t need the pills. I hate the pills. The side effects suck. I’ve gone off them three times in the last three years. Just today, I thought “I don’t really need this anymore.” But then I always I do. There are only so many self-help books I can read, so many affirmations I can make, so many miles I can run. Some days, it catches up with me. Those days, I’m really grateful I have health insurance and can get my meds and see my doctor for the low, low price of my copay. Those days, I say eff-you to the stigma and tell everyone that I’m feeling down and I need help. I’m one of the lucky ones. So many can’t get help or don’t want to admit they need help. I didn’t want to admit it. I fought it for a long time. When you’re in it, it’s really hard to see a way out.

I’ve seen a lot of articles about mental illness this week, probably the most I’ve seen in the media ever. I don’t know the stats but I know lots of people on this planet deal with mental illness. I know many people hurt themselves or others because they are biologically not in their right mind. There’s a lot of us head cases out there! And yet, the media doesn’t take notice until the disease claims an influential, radiant, profound life.

But I have hope.

I have hope that we won’t waste this opportunity to shed some of the social stigma that plagues mental illness.

I have hope that the conversations will continue and that brain research will be a priority.

I have hope that less people will suffer from mental illness and get the tools to live with it instead.

I have hope.

“Hope” is the thing with feathers –

That perches in the soul –

And sings the tune without the words –

And never stops – at all

-Emily Dickinson

Symptoms of Depression

Depression Management Techniques

National Suicide Prevention Hotline

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