Tag Archives: motivation

Running Nerd

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Back in 2012 at the inaugural Atlantic City April Fool’s half marathon (my birthday race) Cam, Bec and I were up with the sun, prepping to run the boards. As we made our way through the casino floor we were chatting quietly, getting into the running mindset, we came across Drunk Dude.

Drunk Dude clearly had not gone to sleep and was wandering aimlessly around the casino floor, beer in hand. Anyone who’s gone to a casino knows that it’s somewhat difficult to find the doors (they hide those suckers so you can never leave and they continue to get all your money) so while we were struggling to just get out, he was struggling to converse.

Maybe we were asking for it with Cam walking around with "half virgin" on her back.

Maybe we were asking for it with Cam walking around with “half virgin” on her back.

Us (we speak in unison – or at least we think in unison with one person responding what we’re all thinking): Whoa, look at this dude. He’s wearing the same clothes as last night.

Him: (random loud display) Hey! What’s going on here? What’s happening? Why are there all these people around here?

Us: We’re running a race, a half marathon. (Bec was doing the 7k but we figured Drunk Dude didn’t need the details. From experience as both the drunkee and the soberee, we knew the shorter the answers, the better.)

Him: Oh, a race? You guys are runners? How long?

Us: Yep, 13.1 miles.

Him: So, what, are you guys nerds or something?

Us: Yep, only nerds run. We have to go. (Eye roll)

Him: Oh you’re leaving? What? What’d I say?

Us: (walking away) Bye!

Him: (shouting after us) NERDS!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gZEdDMQZaCU&w=640&h=360]

And listen, I get where Drunk Dude is coming from because at one point in the not-so-distant past, I wouldn’t have chosen waking up at dark o’clock to run a significant (read: any) amount of miles. In fact, when I ran a 5k through my college, I went past my old residence hall thinking “Girl, if your 20 year old self could see you now…”

You might not be able to surmise this about me if you don’t know me well but the truth of the matter is… I AM a Nerd. With a capital N.

When people call people nerds, mostly what they’re saying is ‘you like stuff.’ Which is just not a good insult at all. Like, ‘you are too enthusiastic about the miracle of human consciousness’. – John Green

Oh, yes, I’m a nerdfighter, too.  If you don’t know what that is, here’s a video. (You can thank me later.)

I’m a running nerd and I’m damn proud to be a running nerd (all running nerds are – just look at their Facebook timeline/pictures for proof). I wear my Garmin proudly, logging my miles on Daily Mile so that I’m then able to talk about running with my friends. I talk about running with people I don’t know too, because they like running and the only thing better than running is talking about it! I wake up at 5 in the morning to run or I run when my kids are at school. Laundry and dishes wait because running needs to come first, so I can get through the mundane tasks. I’ll gladly not partake in alcoholic beverages because I’m training the next day.

My days revolve around when I can run and I get cranky if that plan gets derailed. I spend my money on Mizunos and cute running clothes and race entries. I’ll gladly travel to races, the further the better. I connect with other runners via Twitter. I read running blogs and I genuinely care how that blogger is feeling after their run and what their next event is going to be. I encourage newer runners because I remember what it feels like to be a newer runner. Sometimes I still feel that way.

My friends and I discuss things that happened during runs together and reminisce about things like Drunk Dude. Or the guy that shouted “COLOR RUN” as he bombed us with yellow color from behind as we were taking a selfie. And I like to dress up in costumes to run because as you know, many nerds like a good cosplay.

Three Sleeping Beauty fairies are we.

I like seeing people’s Instagram pictures of their food and their tracks and their playlists and gladly share mine as well. (Oh, and I like seeing their nail polish too, for the record.)

Through running, my confidence has gone up. Something I once believed was impossible is not only possible, it’s possible in great lengths. I can and I will to the fullest extent. I’m proud, enthusiastic and yes… a NERD about it.

So let’s all raise our glasses (mine is a 13.1 tumbler filled with water and Nuun) to all the running nerds. Long may we run.

Proper Support is Necessary (and I’m not talking about bras)

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Happy Friday, friends! I need to brag for a minute. I don’t do this often, so I hope you won’t mind. I’ve been exercising four or five days per week for two months! This is no small feat for a mama of three small kids and wife of a man who works long hours. HIGH FIVE!

I caught up with some friends last week, and I mentioned to my girlfriend (who is an amazing- and busy- working mom) that I’ve been strength training twice per week, and doing cardio-mostly running- two to three times per week, and her first question was “Where do you find the time?”

The quick answer is that I just make the time to do it. Sure, I have laundry to fold and dishes to wash, but darnit, I need to work out, and as long as the kids are fed and happy, I will get it done. But that isn’t entirely accurate (the laundry part totally is, though). The better answer is, I have a lot of support.

Twice a week, I have Trainer Jen, who kicks my butt for an hour, while my husband watches the kids before he leaves to work. Another two mornings are spent running with my pal Sara, who lets me babble about nothing and everything while we pound the pavement. I usually head to the gym on a weekend day too, while the Mister B. hangs out with our kids.

Trainer? Check. Running Buddy? Check. Helpful Husband? Check. I guess the quick answer could be, I’m fortunate. I’m really grateful to have these people around to help me reach my goals.

Which brings me to another reason I have to get it done; I have goals!

In the short term, I’d really like to fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes. The weight isn’t shedding as rapidly as it did with my girls (Baby number three, I’m over thirty, blah blah, blah), which suuuucks, especially since I’m working so hard. Don’t get me wrong, I think I look good, and I don’t mind buying new clothes- just ask my husband. But I have cute shorts, just sitting in my closet, and I want to wear them!

I also want to run a successful half-marathon this fall, which means respecting the miles. I’m building my base now so I can start adding mileage, and hopefully some speed (though I’m not really concerned with that right now).

In the long term, I’d really love to run a half marathon under 1:50.

The best answer to my friend’s question? I’m really motivated. And it takes a village. I’m lucky to have such terrific people in my corner.

One of those people is back in his running shoes again. My husband (and all of our kids) joined me for our first family of five run last weekend. I’d been looking forward to this day since I had Little Dude!

My dudes, ready to run.

My dudes, ready to run.

Mister B. has a different relationship with running than I do. He enjoys it; but he prefers to run short and fast, and never during football season. Now, fitness often takes a backseat when pregnant, and if you’re the husband of a pushy exerciser who isn’t being very pushy…well, football season drags into basketball season, and maybe baseball season too.

Last Saturday, I registered for a local 5 miler and 2 miler, and pushed Mister B. to do one or the other. He committed to the 5 (!!!), so off we all went for an afternoon run.

Hopefully, the first of many.

Usually, I have a question for you. Instead, I’d love it if you’d give a shout-out to the people who support you and your running goals. Or just go and give them a hug. Have a great weekend!

The Power of Words

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Two weeks ago, I sat down and wrote a post. It was a candid, no holds barred look into my life as a morbidly obese woman. Those words were hard to write. Every one of them was a little piece of me, bared to the world, encapsulated on a screen. My fears. My regrets.

My weight.

Those words were meaningful to me, and based on the tremendous amount of supportive responses I got, they were meaningful to other people as well. I had to have Meri actually publish the post for fear I wouldn’t be able to hit the button. I wanted to erase the words, to take them back, as if doing so would make it less real, would make it all go away.

It wouldn’t have. Those realities don’t go away. They will change, when I change them, but they will never cease to be exactly where I was on that day.

The response was incredible. As soon as the post was published, my phone immediately starting buzzing. Tweets, emails, blog responses, Facebook notifications, texts, IMs from people in my office who I am FB friends with.

I couldn’t look right away. I didn’t know what the words coming in were, but I knew they would be too much. And when I did look? They were too much. Wonderful, kind, empathetic… but overwhelming. I cried more times than I can count. It took me days to fully process all of the messages, and days more to respond in a manner befitting the words that were given to me.

I’m so grateful to each one of you that reached out. I’m so touched that people found inspiration in that post, or solace at the idea that they were not the only one with those feelings. I’m so incredibly lucky to have such wonderful people in my world.

I gave myself a few more days to process how I was feeling, and then I started to ask myself some questions.

That is where I am, how do I get where I want to be?

I could sit here wishing I’d done things differently, wishing that I’d had the courage to face my demons years ago, but it wouldn’t change anything. I could blame the people in my life that failed me, blame the diet industry and the food industry for making me fat and keeping me that way, but it wouldn’t change anything. I could sit on my couch with my buddies, Ben and Jerry, crying about how hard it all is, but it really wouldn’t change anything.

Or I could build a bridge and get over it.

How am I going to change habits that are twenty eight years in the making?

I can change, but not without help. I am a prideful person, independent, and I hate needing help. But I need help. And my very wise lifelong best friend gave me some words this morning.

“If you need help, get help.” Right. I love you, Jen.

What diet do you try when you’ve tried every diet?

It doesn’t matter. Some are better than others, some are truly healthier than others, but at the end of the day, this isn’t about the diet. It’s about my commitment to doing what needs to be done, and about knowing that when something isn’t working, you find something else that will. It’s about me making the decision to change my life and my health. (I spent the better part of the last week trying to decide what was the best way to go about this, and I have a plan…you all know how I LOVE a plan. I’m not ready to talk about the plan just yet, but I have one.)

So, I’m going to  get help and work on forgiving  myself. I’ve made a commitment. And I’ve got a plan.

Where do I start? How? When? 

Old Chinese Proverb: The best time to plant a tree is twenty years ago. The second best time is now.

Okay, then. Now works.

What About ME?

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Like all of the Scoot a Doot chicks, I’ve got a ridiculously busy schedule. NOT like all of the Scoot a Doot chicks, I’m a ridiculous slacker. If we were Smurfs, I’d be Lazy Smurf. Or at very least, Whiny Smurf.

But, you guys, I’m SO busy.

As I sat typing out our family Summer Calendar today, there were a lot of notes about doctor’s appointments (those darn physicals just come around every year, huh) and daycare arrangements and kid’s soccer practices and family vacation plans and so on and so on.

But there wasn’t any me time. A lot of US time, and a super lot of THEM time (the younglings – and as my fellow moms know, their time and my time are completely locked together), but no ME time.

I like me time. I miss me time.

I realize what has happened. My ME time, formerly filled with mani/pedis or movies or laying like a vegetable on my couch, is now spent doing things like trying to fit in a run or trying to make it to the gym or trying to get to the Zumba class I haven’t been to in months.

Did you catch that word I just used? Trying.

When it was mani/pedis, I made gosh darn sure those happened. It’s not like it’s hard to find the motivation to drive over to the nail salon and sit in a chair reading People and having someone massage your tootsies.

My runs? Or even my walks? They aren’t happening with any regularity at this point.

And that doesn’t make sense. Because I want to get in better shape and I’m really focused on weight loss and I know that a run or a Zumba class would certainly help those efforts and I would definitely feel better afterwards but IT DOESN’T FEEL LIKE ME TIME.

It feels like work. It should. It is work. But I think, subconsciously, I’ve been struggling a little with taking the little free time I have and using it to go get sweaty and gross instead of polished and girly.

And it’s got to stop. Because while it’s all well and good to have pretty toes, I think it’s more important at this point in my life to be able to reach my toes.

I need to make activity a priority. And I want to, I really, really do. I just… sometimes, I miss being a bum, you know? And lately, when I’ve got one hour left of a hectic day, I’m much more apt to return to bum mode and watch So You Think You Can Dance instead of, oh, I don’t know, actually dancing.

Help? HELP!

For those of you that share my ridiculously small amount of time for ourselves, how do you reconcile it in your brain to spend it on those things that make us better as opposed to those things that only make us look better or feel better temporarily? How do you make yourself pull on your sneakers and just hit it at the end of a long day? In short, how the heck do I get out of my own way?

Bec is busy. Really busy. And whiny. Really whiny. Any tips for a super busy mom trying to fit in working out and having some girly girl time? Because she’s got a half marathon that is getting closer by the day and we’d like her not to die on the Atlantic City boardwalk! 

 

Happy Running Day!

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Last Saturday night, I laced up my sneakers to go meet my friend, Sara, for a run. As I kissed the girls goodnight, my oldest daughter said, “You’ve been running all the time lately, Mama. Why are you always running?” I was already five minutes late, as I am always running five minutes late these days, so I gave her the short answer: “Because Mama is running a race in the fall, so she has to get ready for it.”

That’s a small part of it. The part that keeps me motivated to hit the treadmill at 7:30pm after a long day and a sleepless night, certainly. Side note- when people hear me say that little dude is a good baby, they automatically assume this means he is sleeping through the night. He is not.

Races are great at keeping you accountable. You have to respect the distance, as Chick Vic says, and that means logging those miles each week. But beyond that, why do I run?

I started running regularly because I like dessert and I like wine. Seriously. I’d run off and on since high school, and somewhat regularly after the birth of my first daughter (because the only time she would nap was in the jogging stroller), but once I stopped nursing my second and started gaining weight, I had to do something. I knew I enjoyed running, and you don’t have to join a gym, or buy any equipment*, or have any experience with it. You just lace up your sneakers and go. (*Note to my husband- I really need all that stuff from lululemon though.)

In Sonoma with my husband. We ran every day of that trip because I was training. (We also had dessert at every meal!)

In Sonoma with my husband. We ran every day of that trip because I was training. (We also had dessert at every meal!)

Once I decided to tackle a half-marathon, running became something more for me. I loved watching my pace improve. I craved the solitude on a long run. I liked challenging myself to be better, faster, to run longer. It’s awesome to see what your body and mind are capable of when you train for a race. And crossing the finish line at my first half-marathon was exhilarating. It took less than 24 hours for me to sign up for a second.

Mile 13 of my current PR race.

Mile 13 of my current PR race.

Taking a break to have a baby was hard. I was riding high after my first under-two-hours half, and thinking that it would be the perfect time to train for a marathon, if I wanted to run that distance (something I’m still not sure I want to do). But, my husband and I had planned to try to expand our family at that time, and I knew that there would be other races (and hopefully more PRs).

It wasn’t easy watching others race while my belly grew and my fitness shrunk. Even now, it’s difficult to see my pace and mileage. I’m improving, but I’m nowhere close to where I was. (I know, I know, I had a baby. He brings me so much joy, every day. All of my kids do. I just have a lot of feelings.)

Super dad and husband takes the kids for a walk so I can scoot to the gym.

Super dad and husband takes the kids for a walk so I can scoot to the gym.

Still, I run. I’m lucky to have wonderful friends who also run. And a husband who will watch the kids so I can go to the gym. I can’t wait until we can put little dude in the baby jogger and all run together.

I have goals to reach. Sara and I talked last week about our training plans for this fall and while I don’t think I’ll be setting any personal records this year, there’s always next year. And the year after that. The great thing about running, is there’s always another race to run. And hopefully some cool people to run with you.

Racing with Sara in March 2012.

Racing with Sara in March 2012.

Today is National Running Day! Why do you run? If you aren’t a runner, today is a great day to start!

You know who rocks? I do, that’s who!

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The following is a letter I wrote to my Future-Now-Past self on December 25th, 2011. Past-Past me knew I’d need a little encouragement before my first half marathon (runDisney’s Princess half, February 2012) so she decided to write Future-Now-Past me a letter.

past-past

All mes were/are terribly confused when it came/comes to tense. Which was/is apparent but try to overlook it.

Dear FutureMe,

As long as everything goes according to plan, you’ll be running a half marathon in the next few days.

That’s 13.1 miles.

That’s a long effing run.

Remember when you were in high school and they made you run the mile each year for the American fitness test? And remember how you’d sort of half walk, half jog around the track just so that you could just get it over with?

Remember how you were in shape until you reached a certain point in college and you became horrendously out of shape? Remember when you lost your shape and could no longer fit into jeans or shirts that you’d once lived in? Remember when you had to wear those gray pants all summer long because they were practically the only things that fit you?

The comments made by others were nothing compared to the way you felt about yourself. After Elderberry was born, you decided to make a commitment to yourself and your health. After Littleberry was born, it took you a bit of time but you once again made that commitment.

Why do you run when you don’t always like it? Because it’s hard. Because it makes the finish and the reward that much sweeter when it’s finally over. And because that sense of accomplishment, that sense of SELF, of being truly aware of who you are, is like nothing you’ve ever felt.

You are amazing and can do amazing things. At this point, you might be doubting us, nervous about doing something seemingly so BIG. But you shouldn’t be because you have this strength within you.

Remember that.

Remember to have fun with this, push yourself, and be the incredible person you’ve become over the past 34 years.

You can and you will until you could and you did.

futurepastme

Always,

Meridith

Want to write a letter to your Future Self? Check out FutureMe.org

If you need a pep talk, who do you look to? Do you talk to your Future self too? Or your present self?

Throwing Down

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You guys, I’ve been struggling. A lot.

Just over a month ago, I posted about my potential attempt at a (mostly) vegan lifestyle.  I gave up meat and dairy, and within a couple weeks, I was feeling amazing. My weight was dropping, my eczema cleared up and things were… regular (sorry).

And then cheese. Because it’s cheese. Actually, it was a cheese factory. Or, The Cheesecake Factory, to be more specific.

I went out for a girl’s night with my bffl and thought ‘I can relax for one night and get back on tomorrow.’

Tomorrow didn’t come. Well, it came, but it came with ALL THE DAIRY.

And with all the dairy (and meat and overeating and slacking and CHEESE – hello, vicious cycle), came the weight right back on and the general feeling of grossness.

NOT OKAY.

So, as of today, I threw down the gauntlet with myself. 30 days. Full accountability to diet, exercise, tracking my food and making healthy choices for thirty days. No bullpuckey. (Look Mer, no cursing!)

Here are the rules:

No Dairy – That means no cheese, no ice cream, no Pinkberry, no cheese, no butter, no yogurt, no CHEESE.

No ‘meat’ – Eliminating beef, pork and poultry. Still eating fish and eggs. Let’s not even talk about bacon.

No heavily processed foods – I say heavily processed because some of my staples, like almond milk, tofu and whole grain pasta are definitely ‘processed’. Basically, cutting out things with ingredients that sound like things from a 10th grade chemistry textbook.  And keeping things like pre-made veggie burgers/meat replacement products limited. No take out/fast food/convenience food. Note, this doesn’t mean no going out to eat. Just not at any place that only serves crap.

Water – 8 cups a day BARE MINIMUM.

Exercise – 5 times a week, 3 of them being good, fast walks. Not focusing on running right now. I know I have a half marathon to train for, and I have a plan for that. But for now, in the ridiculous heat, I’m going to work on bringing up my walking pace so that when I do start running again, I’ll be ready for it (as opposed to now where I just sort of jog slowly and wheeze). The other two workouts are for strength training or Zumba classes. Or swimming. Or whatever way I feel like moving my body. Just moving it. Period.

Tracking on My Fitness Pal – Every day. Every bite. Every lick.

No alcohol – I know. I KNOW.

No excuses – None. At all. These are the rules, and they will be followed. For 30 days. Because while all of that is a lot, none of it has to be forever. Once I complete this personal challenge, I’ll see where I am and decide what I want to do from there.

Because it’s only 30 days. (Please remind me of this when you see me in the cheese aisle at Trader Joe’s).

So, tell me folks, what could you commit to for 30 days? What is that one thing that you let get in your way? What’s your weakness, and would you be willing to hold yourself accountable to turning it into a strength for a month?

If you think you can do it, and you want to join me in this 30 day throwdown, DO IT. And if you think you can’t do it… well, then, you’re right.

Keep Bec company?  Challenge yourself? Please, tell her in the comments below that you want to join her crazy train. She really likes company. And, apparently, cheese. 

Kettlebellin’

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There’s a new toy in my home gym (aka, my bedroom). It looks like a little black purse, weighs 15 pounds and it’s completely rocking my fitness routine.

Mama tote vs. kettlebell. The bell wins. Barely.

Mama tote vs. kettlebell. The bell is heavier. Barely.

I’m talking about the kettlebell. I first used one of these a few months ago, with my trainer. The weight isn’t evenly distributed, like it is with a dumbbell, so it can give you a more challenging workout, if you want it to. And I do!

Row with a kettlebell

Row with a kettlebell

I wanted to find a kettlebell circuit to do at home, because sometimes I don’t have time to get to the gym, and I also really like shopping for things, even exercise equipment. I googled a bit and found one that was perfect for a beginner; with pictures and clear instructions.

I’ve been doing this workout from Women’s Health once or twice a week for a few weeks now. It’s challenging. I feel like I’m getting a great workout. I love that I can do it at home, while the kids play right next to me. I’m hooked!

Squats while I watch the girls make art.

Squats while I watch the girls do artwork.

I read a fitness article in this month’s InStyle magazine, and one of the tips resonated with me.

photo(15)

Amazing advice for a busy mom, especially as I head into summer vacation with all of the kids at home every day. I have some ideas to incorporate workouts with them (pre-school yoga, anyone?), but I know we’ll be out and about, enjoying our break too. I’m going to try to stick to my workout plan, but I’m really happy to have a few ways to stay active when I can’t log miles at the gym (or outside because the Florida heat is hot, y’all).

Have you tried the kettlebell? What do you do at home if you can’t get to the gym? Any awesome summer plans? (I actually have an entire schedule for the kids. Lots of art, field trips, swimming, playdates, reading and some learning too.)

Don’t Call it a Comeback…yet

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Yeah, it’s an LL Cool J kind of morning. You’re welcome for the earworm!

This week, I restarted C25K in preparation of a race next month and eventual half marathon training (11 months, holy…). Typically, my C25K starting point is actually the C/couch, where I have been perched for several months. And it’s hard. It’s so, SO hard. That first one minute run feels like an hour.

This time around, I had only been out of commission for 2-3 weeks, so that first one felt… good. And the pace was… pretty decent, actually. And immediately upon finishing, I made plans with my running pal, Sara, to go running again.

And then we did! Last night, I did my Day 2 run and it was still good. Pace was slightly slower, but still well below my usually Week 1 pace. And yeah, I was out of breath. And yeah, my calves hurt (I blame the wedges I was rocking at work yesterday). But it was just… good.

I like good. I would like to keep having it feel good. Because good feels good!

Here’s the thing. I’ve never made it past Week 6. I think this is because Week 6 sucks, but it could be because I am a habitual non finisher*.

And this time, week 6 coincides with my first race since the October, in which I finished last in my age group.

Last.

Yeah.

That was not a great feeling.

This journey has been full of plenty of great feelings (the first time I ran a full mile) and a whole lot of not so great feelings (last year’s Diva Dash). But it is always full of feelings. Always.

Right now, the feeling is anxiety. Not a lot, but I can feel it growing. I get ridiculous race-day anxiety, every time, to the point where I panic as soon as I start running and can’t continue (I can walk, and I always finish the course, but I CANNOT run). And it happens most days when I run at all, although not at the same level. I’m always anxious that I’m not going to be able to do it. (I’m not sure what my brain thinks happens if I can’t do it, but it is definitely scared).

Clearly, anxiety does NOT feel good. And I need to learn how to work around it. Which, in fact, is actually the point of the race I booked next month – to start getting used to it again so that next April, I don’t have a heart attack on the Atlantic City Boardwalk and run into a casino to hide.

I haven’t really found a way to get rid of the anxiety yet. Maybe there isn’t one, but I have to believe there are at least ways to make it more manageable. And once I get that under control?

I’m gonna knock you out 😉 **

*Please note my not using the word quitter. I don’t want Meri to give me the look.

** Please pardon the cheese. It’s early and I’ve given up coffee. And cheese.

So, help a girl out? Tell Bec she’s not alone in the race anxiety. Tell her how you work through it. Tell her to suck it up and stop crying like a little girl with a skinned knee.