Five Things to Avoid During the Jog ‘n Hog

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I was a hot mess on Sunday morning. Which is pretty funny, considering that this was my 4th year in a row participating in the Jog ‘n Hog. One might think that I have things down by now.

Um, apparently not.

Team Scoot a Doot was comprised of myself, Rachel, and Christina this year. I adore these ladies and I was so happy that we were together for this year’s race.

However, we had a few false starts the morning of the race. There were a couple of times we thought we might be watching from the sidelines instead of participating! I’m not exactly sure how we so royally messed up but we managed to do it up big. Let me count the ways.

  1. We somehow thought that the race started at 9:30. Au cointreau, mon frere. It started at 8:30. It takes me approximately an hour to get there so as soon as Rachel realized our mistake and messaged us, I jumped in my car to head to Shady Brook Farm! The GPS estimated time of arrival was 8:10. Lesson learned: Pay attention to the race emails – don’t just make up times in your head.

    Sorry sprinkles, chocolate sauce, and whipped cream, you're going to take a back seat. Cookies for toppings it is!

    Sorry sprinkles, chocolate sauce, and whipped cream, you’re taking a back seat this year. Cookies for toppings it is!

  2. Hey, guess what?! The Ben Franklin Bridge was closed for the American Cancer Society’s charity bike event. You and I both know that’s a worthy cause so I didn’t get too upset. Thankfully I was actually paying attention, saw the bridge closure signs, and hopped on the Walt instead… which actually shaved 5 minutes from my arrival time. (Huh.) Lesson learned: Map out your route and look for potential road closures or delays before the morning of the race.

    All roads lead to Jog 'n Hog. Just not that one between the hours of 5:45-7:45.

    All roads lead to Jog ‘n Hog. Just not that one between the hours of 5:45-7:45.

  3. Got to Shady Brook Farm with plenty of time to spare. My heart resumed its normal pitter patter. Found Christina, who got there first and got our bibs and shirts (love the laid back attitude of this race that makes it possible for her to do that!) and made us the CUTEST piggy ears ever. Rachel and her brother, Bob, rolled up minutes later. We were actually able to hang out and selfie/chat for a couple of minutes and catch up with the Jog ‘n Hog brothers, Brian and Andrew. It was all going to be okay! Lesson learned: Despite a few small freak outs, everything is better once you’ve found your friends (and are wearing pig ears).
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  4. We figured smooth sailing from here on out. As we approached the starting line we realized that there was no pace pig! My goals this year were to 1. Eat the entire pint of ice cream and 2. Beat the pace pig. But how can one be beaten if there isn’t one to beat? I quickly realized that I must eat the entire pint, no ifs, ands, or buts! Lesson learned: Be flexible and be prepared to eat all the ice cream.

    Loved this family's costumes!

    This family’s costumes were on point!

  5. Within the first 10th of a mile, Christina realized that her key had fallen off her shoelace where it had been carefully tied! Were the running fates mocking us? Maybe the 2016 Jog ‘n Hog was just not meant to be? We quickly turned around and headed back down the gravel path. Thankfully a very kind soul found the key! I tucked it into my SpiBelt for safe keeping and we were back on track. Lesson learned: SpiBelt over shoelace.

From there, it was smooth sailing! It was so great to spend time with Christina and Rachel, catching up with them as we motored to the ice cream station. They are both members of S.W.I.F.T. (Strong Women in Fitness Together) so I got to learn more about that and their plans to dominate Ragnar in a couple of months.

Thanks to the local radio station, the music was pumping in the ice cream eating station area and we was ready to go!

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Thanks to Uncle Dave’s for this pic!

But first, Rachel and I had to figure out how to open the top of the ice cream (there was a pull tab, for the record). After we got past that obstacle, we were ready to dig in!

Bob held our cookies so we didn't toss them as we ran. (See what I did there?)

Bob held our cookies so we didn’t toss them as we ran. (See what I did there?)

Guys, I downed that pint of ice cream like it was my job! (That would be a rad job, actually. I digress.) I’m not sure how or why but I had the professional, Christina, coaching me and I was up for the challenge this year.

Done and done!

Done and done!

The path back seemed a lot longer than the one there (it wasn’t) and my cohorts took the time to run though the sprinklers, which I tried to take a picture of but it just didn’t happen. It was hot, there was sweat dripping in my eyes, and we were some of the last people to cross the finish line.

It was the best.

WEAK KNEES BRAIN FREEZE

WEAK KNEES BRAIN FREEZE.

Many thanks to Jog ‘n Hog for the complimentary entries for me and mine. All opinions are my own and I’ll always share my cookies with you.

Jog ‘n Hog – Taking on the WHOLE HOG

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Sometimes, okay… often, I succumb to peer pressure when it comes to races. The past two years, I’ve been a half hogger, which, in the most technically terms possible, means running a 5k while scoffing down a pint of ice cream smack dab in the middle.

I’m a half marathoner, after all. No need to rock the boat, or the stomach! However, this year when Boss Hog challenged me to go WHOLE hog (instead of a pint, you eat a quart), I was all “YEAH! I AM TOTALLY GOING TO DO THIS!”

I told anyone who would listen. And even some people who probably didn’t listen. I’m going to run! AND EAT A WHOLE QUART OF ICE CREAM. And run!

Never mind the fact that I’ve never eaten a whole quart of ice cream, in my life. Heck, it was a challenge the past two years to eat the pint size.

But I was committed! I was excited!

And then this happened the night before the race…

What is "this" exactly? Victoria and myself in my yard. With wine. And s'mores. And a dinner of popcorn. Oh, and frozen yogurt before that. Pre-gaming like CHAMPS.

What is “this” exactly? Victoria and myself in my yard. With wine. And s’mores. And a dinner of popcorn. Oh, and frozen yogurt before that. Pre-gaming like CHAMPS.

And then THIS happened the day of the race…

TL;DR - the gist? HEAT WARNING. Grab your personal belongings and run to the nearest air conditioner unit!

TL;DR – the gist? HEAT WARNING. Grab your personal belongings and run to the nearest air conditioner unit!

The news said we needed to AVOID strenuous activity. So naturally the logical conclusion was to head out to Shady Brook Farm (I call shenanigans with that name, by the way. Not much shade!) and prepare for the Jog ‘n Hog.

I love races that have race morning packet pickup, in fact I vote that all races should. Stopped by, got our shirts and bibs, and said hello to the Brothers Smith, the co-creators of the Jog ‘n Hog.

Parking and the start are pretty much right next to each other and the “hogging” area is a roped off area with a local radio station providing fun tunes.

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Vic and I brought sprinkles and cones this year and were trying to figure out the logistics of how we’d run (or walk – I’d already declared that I was going to be walking – my plantar fascia is still acting foolish) when we saw the hogging area lined with planters.

Could we? Should we?

Yes and yes. We figured that if anyone else stumbled across our toppings, they could use them too!

Yes and yes. We figured that if anyone else stumbled across our toppings, they could use them too!

Soon after, we ran into the lovely Jes of Runs and Crafts! She’d done a triathlon the day prior (or well, part of one, the run got rained out!) and she was very cool hanging back with me while Victoria decided to take her jogging and hogging more seriously. She had her eye on the prize!

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Exhibit A: The prize!

I give major kudos to anyone dressed up at this race because honestly, if nakedness were a viable option, that probably would have been the preferred choice of many.

We found a Spoon! She made her costume and said she had a plate in the crown to make it stand up.

We found a Spoon! She made her costume and said she had a plate in the crown to make it stand up. That is dedication!

We lined up near the start and about 10 minutes later, we were off. Note to the Jog ‘n Hog bros, we couldn’t hear you in the back with the megaphone. Nope. Not a word! But that’s okay because I know the drill. Jog. Hog. Jog.

There’s a water stop along the way out (and again on the back) and decorations from both Halloween and Christmas.

I was sweating before we even started and let me tell you, salt in the eyes does not feel so awesome. Jes and I had a fast walk going on and we chatted the entire way. I’m sure this surprises approximately no one!

As we neared the hogging portion of our experience, we found Vic peeling out of there. She ate the WHOLE thing.

As we neared the hogging portion of our experience, we found Vic peeling out of there. She ate the WHOLE thing.

We grabbed our Uncle Dave’s ice cream (Jes wisely registered for the pint).

I stared at mine.

What am I going to do with you?

What am I going to do with you?

I figured that maybe sprinkles would help the cause.

soupyicecreamwithsprinkles

Eating all the sprinkles, it was more like soup than ice cream. I would have done well drinking it except that there was still a solid mass in there too and I was afraid that it was going to fall directly on my face. I was melting. The ice cream was melting. We were all melting. MELTING.

Don't judge me fellow Jog 'n Hoggers!

Don’t judge me fellow Jog ‘n Hoggers!

So, I decided that I was going to take some ice cream for the journey to the finish in a cone. Because I was bound and determined to use at least one cone!

jognhogcone

I felt bad throwing away so much ice cream. Because seriously, there are children starving around the world and waste not, want not and a whole slew of other saying that I could break out here. How much ice cream did I eat? I’m pretty sure it was less than a pint, which is truly pathetic.

Will next year be the year I actually conquer the whole hog? I guess we’ll just have to wait and see!

Thanks to Jog ‘n Hog for providing us with complimentary entries this year. You rock! No other compensation was given.