Procrastination, Inc.

This is the company I’m going to start. Someday.

I am seriously a horrible procrastinator. I am writing this post at 5:36 AM, even though I’ve know that I was going to write about procrastinating all week. Because there was plenty of time! I could do it later! Holy heck, it’s Thursday??

This is what happens when you procrastinate. You know what else happens?

You find yourself googling ‘can I train for a half marathon in 30 days?

See, 10 months ago, I posted about signing up for the April Fool’s 2014 Half Marathon. I had 10 months to train. It was plenty of time! But, I’m me, so I made a few training attempts throughout the last year, but nothing noteworthy, and nothing that would get me anywhere near ready for 13.1 miles. And I kept thinking there was time.

That half marathon is 30 days from today.

Apparently, if I’ve walked 6 miles at a stretch in the last month, and I’m reasonably healthy, I  should be fine to walk it. At least according to the results of my Google search. But there was a problem, I hadn’t walked 6 miles in the last month! I’m not reasonably healthy! (Okay, maybe I’m reasonably healthy, but only by my own definition).

What the heck was I going to do?

I sent many horribly panic-ridden emails to my support system. I cried to my husband. I cried a lot. I contemplated bailing.

And then I got on the treadmill and did 6 miles. Willingly. I couldn’t get Netflix to load on my phone so I wound up watching a bad 1987 movie with Kirk Cameron on YouTube. Clearly, these are desperate times. The time dragged and my muscles hurt and I smelled like a camel. But I did 6 miles, which is more than I have walked in a single stretch in years.

I didn’t die. I hurt the next morning, but it’s fading and Advil helps and whatever, it’s soreness, not actual pain.

I have a plan. I’m not following a specific method, or making a chart. It’s just the in-your-head-don’t-waste-time-trying-to-make-it-something-formal-just-get-your-stuff-done plan. It’s pretty bare bones.

What’s the goal? To finish within the time limit. Nothing more. I have no time goal, aside from the one set by the race itself.

What needs to happen? I need to build up my endurance if I want to have any hope of finishing. I need to work on my pace if I want to have any hope of finishing on time.

When does it need to happen? Every day. Don’t make that face. I’m not talking crazy here. Some days, it’s just 30 minutes. Some days it’s 2 long hours that make me want to get in a time machine and slap Kirk Cameron’s agent’s face for ever getting him work. But it’s something every day.

What are the obstacles? Soreness, which can be managed. Boredom, which can be managed with bad movies on YouTube (send me links!) and Pitbull videos (the recording artist, not Meri’s adorable dog). Distraction, which can be managed by staying the heck off the internet. Except, you know, YouTube.

I’m short on time, yes. This experience will never be what it would have been had I not put off training for the last year. And if I ever decide to do a half again, I will procrastinate less. But for now, I’m just going to give it everything I’ve got and hope for the best. 

6 thoughts on “Procrastination, Inc.

  1. I could send you videos of my pit bull too… just saying. 😉 Anything to help! (Seriously though, I’m glad that you are at this point and I hope that the experience of the half is a good one for us all!)

  2. I hear ya. There are other things I kinda procrastinate on ( work related). I am signed up to do the April Fools race but I think I might just opt out. I’ve been injured and need to concentrate on PT. I did it last year and it was a good time though. Good luck with your race!

  3. HAHA! I totally had a google-a-thon about that before Tinkerbell Half. So then once I completed that I knew I could complete Princess Half. But boy, I need to stop procrastinating. Wait blog posts about those events not up yet? Oh yeah.. about that… I will worry about it tomorrow 😉

    Good luck!

  4. One year my New Year’s resolution was to stop procrastinating . . . it didn’t work out so well for me.

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