I’ve been feeling very out of control of situations lately.
It’s not a good feeling for someone who spends their life being the leader, the one who is in control, the one who (mostly) has their shit together.
However, it’s where I’m at right now and it’s a bit scary to me because I don’t typically function well in this type of environment. I’m not a complainer by nature, but I also don’t like a lot of change. Because change = me not in charge.
Earlier in January I blogged about my dog’s sudden passing. (Thank you for all the love, support and comments.) I’m still trying to deal with that and I’ll admit, it’s taking me longer than I expected to heal from that emotional punch in the heart.
Furthermore, I’m dealing with an injury. Yeah… another one. I came back too fast from my previous injury and developed a heel spur. Which, on its own, wouldn’t actually be a bother because heel spurs don’t hurt.
Except that it’s digging into the plantar fascia tissue. Not cool, heel spur. Not. Cool.
I’m in pain. And have been since November, really, but finally went to the doctor a few weeks ago. (Again with the control thing and thinking that I could fix things on my own. Note to self: I cannot. Also, I’m not a doctor.)
My doctor is very proactive and said that I can continue working out, as much as I can tolerate. I have anti-inflammatory cream, and exercises, and I’m getting custom orthotics (ooooooh, fancy!). If all those exciting things don’t work, we’ll discuss arthroscopic surgery to cut the plantar fascia. He suggested that if something hurts, I do not do it. This includes box jumps, step ups, jumping jacks, and… running.
Let’s get back to that control thing for a minute. That’s a lot of things right there that I’m not able to do. And ordinarily, it would send me into a tailspin. However, I’ve made the conscious decision to focus on the positive and what I can do. Because I can control my reactions to when things don’t go my way.
I can continue working with my trainer and do most things that he barks at me. Furthermore, I am able to speed walking without too much pain, which is exactly what I’m doing. I’m taking charge of the situation and while it’s not ideal, and it sure as heck isn’t running, it’s something. And in my world, something is always better than giving up.
And it really leads back to my motto, I can and I will. Rather than focusing on all the negatives, all the limitations, I’ll be focusing on what I can do to move ahead with my goals.
I’m training for my third Atlantic City April Fool’s Half on April 6th and I’m committed to getting the training done. By making the speed walking modification (walking on the treadmill at 4.0-4.5) and playing with the incline (anywhere from 2% – 15%. If it’s on 15%, I’m at 2.8 mph), I’m able to get in a good workout. I logged 94 miles in January. My goal is 40-60 minutes three days a week and long “runs” on the weekend. And I doubt this very much since we are in winter forever, but if it ever warms up, I’ll head outside.
So, friends, that’s where I’m at at the moment. Again, it’s not ideal and it’s not where I want to be but as long as I’m breathing and moving, I consider that a win. Yay me!
What do you do when life doesn’t go as planned? Are you a crazy obsessive planner like me or more of a go-with-the-flow type of person? Also, I hope you’re singing Janet Jackson songs for the rest of the day like I’ll be. No, my first name ain’t baby.