There was a point in my life that I weighed myself every day. That’s right. Every. Single. Day. I was definitely obsessed, if not on the edge of disordered. Truthfully, I was driving myself a little crazy.
Until one day, I just stopped.
I decided that it wasn’t healthy for my mind to be so wrapped up in the numbers. So the morning visit to the scale ceased. I was mindful of my food but no longer tracked every morsel I consumed. I continued to work out. And I was content.
2013 brought many good things my way, including more half marathons, shorter races and workouts with my trainer at the gym. However, I injured myself in September and that put a damper on what I was able to do physically. My miles shrank but my food intake continued as though they hadn’t.
(You see where this is going, don’t you?)
I weighed myself the other day for the first time since the summer. I wasn’t all together surprised by the number but I will admit that I wasn’t happy with it either. That’s not to say that I’m not happy with myself, because I am. I’m at a good place, a much different place than I was when I was the girl weighing herself daily. Generally speaking, I’m pretty awesome.
But I would like to work hard to get back down, weight wise.
At my leanest, I was at 144. This was in 2012, when I was tracking everything – my weight, my food, my workouts – everything.
By the end of last summer, I was at 152 – I tracked my workouts, but that was basically it.
And now, here I am, at 156. I knew I was gaining weight. I could tell by the way my clothes were fitting mostly. I think that I tend to have a bit of body dysmorphia so no matter when I look in the mirror, I always see the same thing – whether I’m 10 pounds lighter or 20 pounds heavier. That doesn’t help matters.
What I do know is this: I need to make a change.
Rather than focusing on the numbers (since that hasn’t really worked well for my psyche in the past), I’m going to try to present things to myself in more than/less than fashion. For example…
More homecooked, less takeout. More veggies, less cookies. Smaller meals throughout the day and smarter choices.
And I plan to continue my exercising. I don’t think that I’ll feasibly be able to add things like hot yoga back into my schedule but I would like to hit the 10,000 step goal set by the Fitbit each day. (Okay, fine, maybe focusing a little bit on numbers isn’t the worst thing in the world.)
No excuses, no whining. I’m ready to get this done. I can and I will!
What sort of challenges or goals are you looking forward to tackling in 2014?